...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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