C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
