I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
