actually, I'm a sock model
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize