After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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