I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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