So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
