i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i think i have herpe
just one?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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