My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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