Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
