another moral hangover. fuck.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Randomize
