playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
