My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize