Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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