If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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