Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
