I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
