I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
