Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
