yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
