If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
