ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
