? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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