I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
