dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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