the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize