Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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