Me. At least after what I've been through.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
