Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize