And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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