Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
