how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
false alarm, still single
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
