but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
