just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
