Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
