and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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