And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
