I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
