Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
