I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
