I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
