well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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