Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
