No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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