It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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