Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
