Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
