It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
