Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
