Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize