called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize