New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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