and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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