Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
