giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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