when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
