ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
