well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
