So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
