GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
