How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize